selective soliloquy

4.23.2006

breaking me

UP has turned me into a bitch. seriously.

i find it extremely weird that i actually consider high school life more mature compared to college. granted, my high school was well, sort of different than others. still, isn't high school supposed to that time of life when the juvenile hormones start kicking in and people start doing the most idiotic and childish things without fear of punishment and/or conscience? i don't think so.

let's rewind to pisay days. batch 04, the most "dynamic" batch, in my own biased opinion. we had your intensely grade-conscious crowd, the chemistry geniuses who perfected international competitions, the math wizards who could converse in pure arithmetic, the artists who believed that science was beyond them, the techies who could drool over the latest laptop for approximately three hours straight, the athletes who could turn a 15-minute break into a full-fledged game, the politicians who had seemed to be placed in the wrong kind of high school, the populars who ruled the corridors, a handful of bonafide geeks, and well, normal people (moi).

you'd think that being the school that it was, pisay would be ground zero for all kinds of problems. for me, it wasn't. high school was not one big competition for me. it wasn't about getting the grade, or impressing the teacher, or elevating the social status. if anything, life there was so laid back you wouldn't even imagine it was a high school that imposed subjects that were college-level. life was simple, normal. everyone studied (except the omnescient ones who didn't need to), gave leakage (at least once in their life), asked for leakage (more than once in their life), did their homework, copied someone else's homework, cut classes, escaped from school (in very creative ways i might add), went to parties, and went back to the classroom and became students again.

the point is, we did everything and the thing is, we still knew our limits.

i don't know about you guys, but college life to me is hilariously weird. the competition is so fierce that friendships are put on stake and the line between fair play and plain sabotage is constantly blurred. some people were born to have an average fun level of a singko and grade consciousness of an uno. others are the complete opposite. and what's with constantly trying to climb up the social ladder? please, this is college. nobody is supposed to care about that damn ladder anymore. people compete like five-year olds fighting over the last cookie, backstab like the cheerleaders do in every teen movie the US has made, prey on the hard work of others like a swarm of locusts, and who try so hard for the shot at popularity that it's just pathetic.

almost everything is an intense shade of black or white that it's just so... wrong.

back to being a bitch. it's just that the more i figure these things out, the more i see college life as pathetic. well, not the life, per se, but a big chunk of it that i cannot control. but i've taken things into my own hands and i've decided not to take part in anything in this chunk i hate so much. i'm not the happy-go-lucky person that will just allow herself to be dragged in the whole mess of delayed puberty once more.

get it?

got it?

good.

posted by reinzi at 9:47 AM >1 comments

1 Comments:

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